About ME.

Ever since I became a mom, things are not about me anymore. Duh. Anyone out there who is a mom knows what I'm talking about. I yearned for motherhood for so many years, I am definitely not complaining about this. It's just a whole different lifestyle.

When we were going through the adoption paperwork one thing we had to do was have one of our dr's fill out a health history and state that we are medically capable of parenting a child. At the time I thought, "no-brainer, this is easy", so I was pretty surprised when, when I met with my GI to have her fill it out (because she was the closest I had to a "family doctor" at the time), she looked me in the eye and asked if I thought I would be able to do it. Huh? "Of course," I said, and so she signed the paper. And I really didn't think about it again. At the time my thought process was: "I've been healthy for a long time, I hardly ever get sick. I have plenty of energy and I take care of myself pretty well. I'm sure it will be fine."

Anyways, fast forward about 4 months to our insta-parenthood. Where I learned the real meaning of being tired, day after day. I also am not in charge of my own schedule any more. I developed a healthy (laugh at that how you will) habit of a Diet Coke pretty much every weekday in the afternoon, to get me through an evening of teaching, followed by a night of being up with a baby. I have never slacked so much in exercising (since moving away from home) as I have in the past 11 months. AND, my eating habits have really gone in the crap hole. Especially on days I feel like I have 30 seconds to catch my breath, guess what gets last priority: Making sure I eat healthy! Boo.

So anyway, with all of this (and I know I sound asinine for complaining about having ONE kid. Don't be a hater if you have more, or work more than me, or whatever.) CrAzineSS, one thing has crept up and lingered TONS in the past year, like far more than ever before in my life (except for 1999-2000, you know what I'm talking about)--SICKNESS! Big surprise, I know, after I just listed the dirty details of what my lifestyle had become. But, sadly, it's true. I came down with pouchitis no less than 4 times in 2011 (previous average was <1 a year), a nasty case of the stomach flu, and generally whatever other bugs Collin brought home from school. It was great. Not. Pouchitis seriously pretty much lays me flat. I don't even have the energy to comb my hair. And it lasts for like a week. After my last round of that (which of course was over Christmas time), my GI decided to do something I have always dreaded . . test me for CROHN'S DISEASE!

If you know anything of my medical history (or not, just if you have heard me preaching about CCFA), obviously that might not seem so weird since Ulcerative Colitis (what I had, and then was "cured" of in high school), is the same sort of auto-immune disease (collectively called IBD) as Crohn's. But it's actually a huge deal. I was lucky with UC. There is a cure. And I had it done. Besides some random bouts with pouchitis and trying to watch what I eat, I live pretty much a "normal" health life. Crohn's has no cure. It can get worse, and worse, and worse. It can require surgeries for years on end. It can incapacitate. It can require very expensive, time consuming, dangerous drug treatment.

I knew all this, and have for a long time. I have gotten to know countless Crohn's patients, with all the work I have done with CCFA at camps, support groups, Ed conferences, and more. I have learned a LOT about the disease without ever having it. So, when the Dr. broke that news to me that she was concerned about it and wanted to test me for it, I thought I would be devastated... but I really wasn't as much as I thought I would be. For one thing, it wasn't for sure that I had it. But for another .... I felt like I already knew that if it did happen, for one thing it's out of my hands, and another, with all the wonderful people dealing with Crohn's I have met, I realized I already have the knowledge that it doesn't have to end your life. So, there are my thoughts on that.

So, $500 worth of bloodwork, a colonoscopy, and a C-Diff (ha ha) test later, turns out I don't have Crohn's. Which I won't deny is great news. What I did learn through all this, among other things, is that I need to take better care of myself! I have been feeling bad about it for a while, but this really made me wake up and realize I better start now. And it just so happened that all this went on right about at the beginning of 2012. So, what better than a great New Year's resolution about MYSELF? Nothing!

I didn't officially set a resolution because I feel like it's SO cliche to just break it right away. Instead, I am slowly, and I mean S-L-O-W-L-Y working into changing my lifestyle. And with wrestling still going on and my job in full swing it is by no means easy. But I consider it a continuing work in progress, BABY STEPS people!

Here are some things I am doing:
*Drinking Green Smoothies again. I did it so well last winter then dropped it. But I have busted out the blender again and I'm determined to have one at least 3 times a week. So far, I'm 2 weeks in!

*Taking probiotics--every day! I used to do this, too, but it's another thing that got forgotten in the wake of newbornism.

*Exercising! I am really working on this. It has been slow going. If we would stop getting sick it would be easier. I know it will help keep me from getting sick. But I am still not a pro at getting the timing right for Ashlyn to be in the daycare for an hour. I have at least gone twice a week ever since the new year, the goal is 3 times so I am getting there! And my ultimate plan is to run a 5K sometime in May or June, so I will start training for that soon.

*Eating better--as in, cutting out sugar! I am a serious sugar addict and over the holidays it always gets completely out of control. Just this week I have started a "no sugar week" in hopes of detoxing myself a little. I know NO SUGAR is unreasonable and it will never happen, but I also know that in times when I have gotten out of the habit of eating so much of it, it gets way easier to not crave it all the time.

*The Diet Coke thing--is something I miss. I really haven't drunk any regularly since before Christmas. Which is great. I don't think I was ever "addicted" because days I would miss I wouldn't notice anything. The main thing that sucks is that I need some sort of "pick me up" in that 2:00-3:00 time of the afternoon--right when I feel like I have already done so much work all day, and now I am staring at another 5 hours of teaching before I get to chill. Any suggestions??? (I have limited myself to 1 soda a week, which has gone well besides last week.... with the furnace issue and a non-napping baby it drove me to 3. oops.)

*Naps--are such a challenge for me. But every time I have gotten sick it has been following a week or two of non-stop running and business, sun-up to sun-down. I finally realized that I am just ALWAYS going to have a lot to do. And not enough time to do it in, especially if I want to spend a good amount of that time with my daughter. And I think that a lot of issues come from me not getting enough sleep, since the fact is that I don't have a completely "normal" system and it's true that I can get tired out easier than others. So, I have been FORCING myself to lay down for 30 min. in the afternoons (the ones I can, obviously I can't do it the days I teach). It is so hard. Every time I am thinking about all the stuff I still need to do. But, if I force myself to get in my room and lay there, I will fall asleep without fail. Which tells me I need to take a break. So, I am continuing to try this, even though it's really hard for me. I never thought I would have to make NAPPING a priority! good grief.

So, now that this post has pushed the boundaries of the longest ever... that's my post about ME. Although it's true (and not in a bad way) that my world revolves around the little curly-haired angel who's sleeping down the hall, I am working on making sure I also keep myself in mind.