Growing Pains..... I guess

I feel like everywhere I go I look like this:Which I'm not complaining about, it's just different. For so many years I've been so used to just going out, doing my thing, everything under control and I know how to deal with it. Now it's like, I never know what to expect! I wouldn't trade it, but it's definitely an adjustment! Having to depend on a 2-month-old to determine how an outing is going to go is definitely a big change for a control freak like me. Luckily she's the sweetest, cutest little 2-month old I've ever seen (not that I'm biased!), so she makes it easy! But I know it has only just begun!

It is WEIRD adjusting to all this! I am definitely a routine-oriented, planning (in general), control freak, which I have known all along, but it is so evident now in pretty much everything I do! Ashlyn is not at the point that she has any sort of routine yet, although she is a wonderful sleeper for the most part and only gets up 1-2 times per night, which I will take as a huge blessing. But I stil just feel like I'm floudering trying to find one thing in my life right now:

BALANCE.

Where is the balance? I want to just sit and snuggle and play with my little cutie all day, but if I do that, I feel guilty that I haven't cleaned or cooked or done some work for my job (that yes, I do still have). And if I spend most of my day getting stuff done, I feel guilty for not spending enough time with Ashlyn. And then there is my dog... who thankfully at least gets out to run with me now, but playing with her? Yeah right. And then there are all the other things I haven't even thought about--serving others, being a good friend, keeping in touch with my family, keeping updated on my blog, scrapbooking before Ashlyn is 5 and I have a mother load to do, all the crafts and projects I want to do, church callings, my HUSBAND.... the list goes on and on with things I feel like I have no time for. And I have ONE baby, who's like, the easiest baby there is! What is my problem? All I'm saying is it is hard to find the balance of what to do. I'm hoping as she gets older and begins to have some semblance of a routine I can at least sort of start adding things in one by one... maybe?

As for now though I am very content trying to equal out doing normal things and spending time with sweet little Ashlyn. And there are plenty of things going on anyway. Like COLLIN finishing up school! On Friday he presents his Masters Portfolio, which he has been working on night and day for the past month, and I'm assuming that will become even worse this week. But I'm not complaining, only 5 more days! He still manages to be a great dad to both Ashlyn AND Lucy, as you can see.

Then there's this stinker..... Shredded diaper? No surprise. All in a day's work for Lucy. Actually she has been pretty well behaved all things considered. She still gets plenty of attention from both me and Collin, and she does love the chance to give Ashlyn lots of kisses whenver she can.

As for me.... I feel like my days are spent either in sweats at home or out running errands all day. Like I said, I have not figured out a good way to do all this yet! I'm hoping I will someday!

And luckily I have started running again. This is the pic from the very first time the 3 of us ventured out! I have to plan my runs around the stupid weather, which is ridiculous. If it would just stay sunny 2 freaking days in a row! Oh well. I signed up with some friends for Race for the Cure, which is in like 3 weeks, so I have been forced back into this! It's been nice though, for me to actually exercise, for Lucy to actually be tired, and well, Ashlyn really doens't have a clue since she sleeps the whole time.

And besides all the domestic adjustments, I do still have my piano studio of 24 kids. They all participate in a 7-area achievement program which ends in 2 weeks. Therefore, we have been CRAMMING in theory, ear training, sight reading, and getting ready for memorized performances for judges. I like having purpose like that in lessons--but not this much all at once! Missing 3 weeks is definitely taking its toll. But I had my studio recitals Friday night, which were a "practice" for the big Solo Event which consists of a recital for an audience and judges, and the kids did pretty darn good! At least, no one had a total freeze up, and most sounded pretty musical! All I could say was, HALLELUJAH! Hopefully, somehow, all my hard work is paying off. Because let me tell you, I really have been working hard at my job! As well as everything else...... when I'm not sleeping in until 10:00 due to being up a lot during the night!