The Temple

We were able to finally attend the temple and have Elan sealed to our family on June 11. It was wonderful. It's hard to find words to describe it, really! Anyway, I would say that leading up to it I was more stressed and busy than I wish I had been... but that is kind of how life is, right? I tried to keep reminding myself that the only thing that really mattered was that we were going to the temple. And it really was true!

I wrote in more detail about it in my journal, and that's probably where most of it will stay. But it was really such a special experience. Having to wait until Elan was almost 16 months old... that was hard. I didn't realize how much I had been holding my breath, with a constant prayer in my heart for both his adoption and the temple to finalize, until it really finally was all over and done with. I felt so.... relieved! Happy of course, but mostly, relieved! 

A few things about the day, for those of you who weren't able to come (and for us to remember).... the biggest issue we had in the temple was that Elan was NOT cool with being left in the nursery! Poor guy. Of course he woke up extra early that morning anyway.. (must have had a sense that something exciting was happening :)  ) so he was already a little tired when we got there at 11 am. We were met by a crowd of like 6 temple workers at the door! The nursery workers were so excited to take care of Ashlyn and Elan. Unfortunately, one of the other temple workers caused some confusion by asking us for some paperwork we didn't actually need (and of course, didn't have!), so we were kind of flustered. I had also stupidly left the diaper bag in the car, so right after we took the kids to the nursery, Collin left with a worker to go sort out the paperwork issue (which turned out to be a non-issue), and I had to dash back to the car to get the kids' bag. Which meant we kind of just left Elan there really suddenly, and he wasn't ok with that. He's usually totally fine to be left with babysitters and even in nursery. But the circumstances weren't the best, our fault! I wish we would have eased him into it a little more. But, once we had done the damage there was no going back! He was so, so upset. Crying and crying. It was hard to leave him, but we had to. Ashlyn was loving it, she was already busy doing puzzles and coloring and hardly looked up to say bye to us. :) That's our girl! ha ha. Anyway, we went and met with the recorder to get the paperwork all ready, and after that, a good 10 minutes later, we walked by the nursery on our way up to change, and could still hear Elan screaming, loud and clear. Broke my heart! I didn't bother going in though. I just prayed that he would be comforted! Or something!

Anyway, after we were changed we got to sit in the celestial room together for a little while. It was so peaceful, and nice to sit and think. My thoughts ended up going to my Dad, and I definitely felt him close by. That was great but also kind of hard. I kind of forced myself not to think about him most of the time, because I knew I'd be a mess if I did. Right before it was finally time to go into the sealing room, we got to meet with the sealer for a few minutes. We told him Elan's adoption story, the story of how we decided on Elan's name, and he calmed our worries about Elan's crying a little. It was so neat to sit there in the temple, talking with the man who was about to seal our family together about how Elan's journey to our family came about. It brought all my gratitude back full force. I don't see how anyone could ever deny Heavenly Father's hand in pretty much every detail of his adoption story, that is for sure. 

I thought I held it together pretty well through most of the ceremony. When they brought Elan in, we could hear his crying from outside the door. SAD! He did finally calm down a little when they brought him over to the altar where Collin and I were. Ashlyn came in, big smiles, looking radiant in her white dress. She was so excited to see aunts and uncles and grandmas in there. She sat between my two sisters right in the front and was so reverent. I hope she can always remember that feeling of being in that room with all of us! 

I felt like the entire time my biggest focus was just to keep from completely bawling. It was kind of hard! Elan mostly settled down when he was next to us, but he had a little more of a cry right before the sealer actually finished the ordinance. He calmed down though, and just sat there, looking up at us with his big handsome brown eyes. His little hand placed on top of ours..... was the closest to heaven on earth I could imagine. What an amazing, wonderful blessing to be able to kneel there at the altar and have him pronounced a member of our family forever--- no different than if he had been born in the covenant. Oh how much we love him. It was really the perfect moment. I felt the presence of so many on the other side of the veil there with us, rejoicing in that special moment for our family. 

 I got to hold him after that, and he was fine from then on. It turned out that after crying in the nursery for about 10 minutes, he had actually fallen asleep in one of the ladies' arms, and been sleeping right up until they took the elevator up to the sealing room. Thank goodness! My prayer was answered that he would be comforted. And actually, him getting a little nap in was perfect timing! It was a busy day! ha ha. 

We went outside and took a few pictures (our super duper awesome friend Barbara Brown was kind enough to take them), and it was HOT! Made me glad I don't usually wear my temple dress outside, ha ha! The kids were pretty well behaved, and I love these pictures. Lucky, lucky us. We took a while getting changed because we decided to have one of us stay with the kiddos in the nursery while the other changed.... no sense in causing more drama! Elan was super clingy at first while we were waiting in the nursery, but he eventually ended up warming up and being back to his usual busy, noisy, cheerful self. The nursery workers said he was like a whole different kid! Well yeah! :)

Afterward, we went back home to a house full of family and friends. We had a lunch that was a group effort made by so many (thank you!!) and then Collin did Elan's "baby blessing." (when do you stop calling it a baby blessing? 15 months??) I sat in a chair and held him in my lap for it. We gave him a sucker and he was a happy camper. It was a wonderful blessing. Again, what a special moment to share as a family and with so many of our friends and family. It was such a special day!