So on to the December post. Feel free to skip ahead, but I need to ramble a little.
December absolutely flew by and was so insanely busy, but at this point I am realizing that EVERY December is going to be like that and I just need to embrace it. I don't like it though! Oh well. I think getting older is kind of hard with things like Christmas because you really want to keep that magical feeling that comes with all the fun traditions and things you do, but also all that stuff is a TON of work for you now that you're doing it for your own family, and it is not necessarily the same "magic." Not that it's bad, just different and something to adjust to. That's my thoughts on that anyway!
This December was HARD. Many times this month the thought that crossed my mind was: "This is the worst Christmas season I have ever had in my life." And then I would think a little more and remind myself that no, it is not the worst, it would really take something special to top the Christmas of 2000 in which my mom and I spent at Primary Children's Hospital as I was 3 days out recovering from major surgery. But anyway, yeah. Things were rough this year. I had a really hard time. I was depressed and sad and cried and was mean and mad a lot.
I think it boils down to 3 things.
1- Emotionally I just was not prepared for how hard it would be to be going into the holidays still carrying so much grief about my dad. It kind of blindsided me. It's hard to explain. It just was literally impossible to be as happy as I wanted to be. There is more depth to the feelings I had/have about this than I want to get into here, so I'm not going to.
2-I really didn't do like, any advance planning for Christmas this year. I just didn't want to. I did get most of my kids' Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving but beyond that I did absolutely nothing. Therefore, I spent the entire month literally doing each task to be done at the last minute and then as soon as it was over moving on to the next thing that it was already the last minute for. Snowball effect! I was up late doing crap on top of crap like every night from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve. I watched 2 Christmas movies all month! boo!
3-Collin was gone. Like, almost all the time. He was an assistant wrestling coach at the middle school, which in theory sounded like it would be pretty minimal. But it wasn't! Tournaments every single Saturday all day long. Practice for 2 hours after school every day. The weekly dual meets weren't actually dual meets, they were always with 3 schools. So they were basically a mini-tournament that would last until after 10 pm on school nights. Add in the occasional supervision at other sports for his AD job, bishopric meeting for his calling, and whatever other occasional things that came up, I was pretty much flying solo all month. Dealing with extra grief and stress alone is not something I'd recommend! I really couldn't put a finger on why this wrestling season was so super hard. I still can't. I mean, it's really not that much compared to the commitment to high school wrestling as head coach! And I've got plenty of experience with that! I don't know why but it was super tough this year. Maybe because....
4- I know I said there were 3 reasons December was tough but I just realized that there is a #4. Elan! He got mobile right before Thanksgiving. Really crawling and pulling himself up on everything. Everything! The problem is that he was super unsteady and if the thing he was pulling up on wasn't really big and sturdy, he would fall back and it would come crashing down on him. i.e. bar stools, chairs, lamps, etc. etc. etc. With his new fast mobility he was also into so much more stuff than before. Slamming his fingers in cupboards and drawers all the time... falling over.... you know. And with Christmas tree, lights, all that, there was more to keep him away from too! He was like a speedy little tornado/accident just waiting to happen all the time. I really had to keep my eye on him every second. It was fun to see him doing these new things, but the timing of it being a super-busy month and me pretty much parenting solo made it tough! I didn't have any working daylight hours besides the brief naps he would take!
5-And now I realized there is also a 5. Sickness! Injury! I had 3 separate colds in December. That's basically one a week up to Christmas! One of the weeks I injured my back and then made it much worse by going to Crossfit class 2 days later. It seriously hurt so bad I could hardly walk. Add in the things mentioned in #1-4 above and I was struggling!
Okay. Not sure how or why I got on that super long tangent about why December was hard. Hopefully you skipped it and you're ready to see some pictures. I have lots! Looking through these I realize that we did still have a wonderful Christmas. And it's not like I was a gloomy dark cloud. I really tried my best to make it great for my family.
Our advent calendar! On the back of each ornament is an activity or something to do that day. Everything from make cookies to go to the ward Christmas party to open a little present. Ashlyn asked to take off an ornament first thing she got up every morning!
I love this! He loves to look out the windows. I wonder if he will be the outdoor-sy type? So fascinated with the snow. Those little fingers!
This reindeer. Oh the stories it could tell. I think I originally belonged to my Grandma Whittier, ended up in my family as I grew up, and now we have it somehow? The first day it was out Ashlyn (on her own!) quickly figured out the best thing about it. You can take the head off and stick it on the bum! Oh the years of doing weird things with that reindeer. Now they're beginning with my kids! :)
Making Christmas cookies!
One of my favorite things is Collin has started to send me "memes" of things at work. He doesn't really understand memes much.... and usually when I show him one he rolls his eyes. But then I got this! It made my whole week. ha ha ha ha
Oh my. Be still my heart! We opened a new Christmas book each night and read it by the Christmas tree. She spent so much time reading all the Christmas books this year. It was so fun to finally have her "get" that tradition!
One of those super-lonely Saturdays... I can't complain because I love these bugs so much. But you know when it's day 6 of the same-old and you know there will be like 20 more days like this before it changes? Sometimes you've got to go to McDonalds for lunch!
I did do a super-fun thing in December, actually. Fun and insane! I took a 14-hour trip over to Boise to attend my friends' annual party! (I don't know why but I had taken a picture of the invitation? No pictures of the actual party to be found, ha ha!) It was insane because I got a sitter to watch the kids for 2 hours until Collin got home from wrestling, so I could leave at 4:00. I got to Boise, went to the party, had so much fun eating and crafting and chatting with my good Boise buddies, and spent the night there. You know, went to bed at about 1:00am. I had to get up at 5:45 and drive back to Jerome to be in Sacrament meeting at 8:30 to play the organ. Why I didn't just get a sub and skip our ward that day I don't know? Anyway, that was awful. And it was pouring rain the entire drive back which is not fun to drive in in the dark. That same day was my studio Christmas recital that afternoon. So basically, I was a walking zombie by 6:00 that night. Good grief. But getting away for some girl time was really worth it!
His favorite spot! He really liked to swipe those Fisher Price nativity figures off the table. Every. Time. :)
Case in point.
Ashyn did see Santa! I might have put this post in Novembers? Who knows. Anyway, it was at the University Mall in Orem, actually. Long story but we ended up spending a couple hours there! Actually the story's not that long. Collin misread and email and we got to UVU for a wrestling match 2 hours early. Mall, here we come! She told Santa she wanted "Instruments" for Christmas. (wha?!?)
Elan had a great time riding around the mall with me. Clearly we don't take our kids to the mall enough, Ashlyn was talking about it for days! She would tell people about this "big store" we went to that had "a store, and then another store, and then even more stores! And SANTA!" Who needs Disneyland?
O Christmas Tree!
We tried doing "straw in the manger" this year. It did {sort of} motivate Ashlyn to do a few good deeds. It was more like if she ate her breakfast then she'd ask if she could put a straw in the manger. But she was at least thinking about it! She really loved the little baby Jesus and I let her play with it here and there.
She had just said, "Mom, I just really love Jesus."
Best buddies and worst enemies! ha ha! Oh the sibling rivalry is real! (on Ashlyn's end anyway!)
Somewhere in there we celebrated Collin's birthday! 37! We had a yummy dinner of Pepperoncini Beef Sandwiches and an ice cream cake! Later that week we went on a late date bowling for his birthday. I honestly hardly remember it because I was sick and exhausted at this point. Hopefully Collin had some fun.....
More pining for the outdoors :)
Lucy turned 6 in December too! Can you believe it! Poor dog. I really need to walk her more. She is a good dog though. Collin took this picture and I don't know why? It's funny.
I made an Elf-Yourself just for Ashlyn. It was so weird and funny. She thought it was beyond hilarious. We watched it probably 30 times one day. The crop of her face is perfect! She looked legit! The free one you can use is about cats. It is so freaking weird. Maybe it just started to seem weird because I watched it 50 times?
Ha ha Elan's face in this! He's getting head-stuffed but he thinks it's great!
I already told a bunch of people this gross story so I won't put it down in great detail here.... but suffice it to say that after I spent some time making this awesome gift-wrapping station in our bonus room, I noticed a dead freaking mouse on a sticky trap stuck to the side of this table I had hauled in and been cleaning off and working right next too! No words. It was horrific. yuck!!!
Oh yeah. Here is a picture from Collin's birthday date. We both bowled the best games we have bowled in like 10 years! ha ha! It was just the 2 of us. We both did so weirdly good.
Always the request for selfies :)
I love this picture of me and a couple of my students. I've got 12 students, and 8 of the 12 are brand new that have begun with me in the past year. That's a lot of new beginners! The other 4 are transfer students which is a challenge in itself. Basically I have been missing having an established studio with kids who I've known for years and are getting good. BUT it is really good to have what I have here too. I am really branching out on different techniques and tools for teaching beginners since I have plenty to work with! And it's fun because we had like 85 freaking people at our Christmas recital! Everyone was so excited because it was most of the students' first recital. These girls are seriously adorable.
A friend here loaned us her collection of ugly sweaters and Collin wore one to school each day the last week before Christmas! he is so cool.
We don't use this walker any more and here is part of why! He can dig in the trash!
This is the BEST! ha ha ha! He's not usually allowed in Ashlyn's room at all (it's the one place I tell her she can put the toys she doesn't want him to have or to play without him bugging her)..... but shhh.... I let him check it out when she's at preschool sometimes. I came in and found this one time. He was having a good time under there.
Don't these look GOOD!! Preschool Christmas cookies.
One of our advent ornaments said "take a family selfie and send it to grandparents."
One of those days waiting in the Target parking lot for Elan to wake up from his car nap
This little barbie came along on a lot of errands! She was the favorite toy for a while there. Her hair is my favorite
Watching..... Wheel of Fortune?
Ash had a little gymnastics show the last weekend before Christmas. Collin was at a tournament but I took her and she had fun. Her favorite part was the candy cane she got at the end.
Reading those Christmas stories
Handsome boy in his Christmas church outfit
My gorgeous girl all ready for church
You've all already seen this but for reals. Like herding cats trying to get a picture.
Yet another selfie...this one at my favorite place Target! Except, Target is NOT fun in December! Ugh!
The best part of this is where Lucy is!
Finally, the week of Christmas, Collin was back home with us! It was so, so great. The kids were so much happier, I must really have been letting my stress and exhaustion and whatever else show, sadly! Anyway, again I was working at the last minute on treats for friends and neighbors, so I pulled out a little Christmas tree craft for Ashlyn to work on. Collin helped her out. It was really cute. They made some awesome little Christmas trees and she was in heaven having Daddy help her.
I couldn't find some of the craft supplies so... eyeball tree it was!
Christmas Eve was ok..... it was kind of stressful for me. I think that's just how it is for moms? I don't know. This was our 2nd time having it here on our own and I guess I'm still learning what I want to spend time on and how we really want things to go. But it really was nice. The worst thing was that Elan was getting sicker. We debated all of Christmas Eve morning whether to take him in to the doctor, because he was acting pretty grouchy and had a decent cough and other cold yuckies. I just figured it if it was like strep or an ear infection at least we could get him on track to feeling better. He perked up ok though so we decided not to. The last urgent care closed at 3:00 and we didn't go. Well by that evening of course he was a total grouch. He made things kind of hard! He was not interested in sitting in his high chair during dinner, also not interested in playing anywhere, not even that interested in being held. He was super grouchy. So much for a relaxing, fun, family evening! ha ha! We opened Christmas jammies and then put him right to bed! I didn't get them little matching pj's this year, even though I really was tempted! My first year having kids I could do that with! But I found these My Little Pony ones for Ashlyn and I knew they'd be far more appreciated! Sure enough, she was so, so excited when she opened them! She chattered on about MLP for not just that evening, but every night she wore them for the next few days! It was so cute.
There were literally 70 out takes on my phone to get this one picture! Notice Ashlyn's plastered-on smile. She knew Santa was coming that night, if she had been good. She was working extra hard to be good!
Case in point, this little note to Santa was dictated verbatim from her. She wanted some rewards for smiling in that picture!
We didn't get to do a couple of the Christmas Eve things I wanted to, mainly watching A Muppet Christmas Carol. I was kind of bummed. But we did read the Christmas story and then we opened and read the last of our Christmas advent stories, and read a couple of other Christmas stories. With all the struggles with Elan it was already pretty late by the time we did this stuff, so we just cut our losses and put Ashlyn to bed too. She was excited to get to bed for once! We spent the next 2 hours packing up since we'd be leaving the next day. Not exactly my favorite activity to do on Christmas Eve, but oh well. Santa did come and fill up everyone's stockings and eat the cookies we left him!
Christmas morning picture! I guess I hadn't adequately explained to Ashlyn that once she woke up and came into our room, we would wait until we were all ready to go out and check out what Santa brought together. She was really upset and not pleased that we had to wait for Collin to go get Elan up and wait for a couple of bathroom breaks! I told her a "story" about when I was a little girl (she loves those, ha ha) and how we would have to wait in my parents' room and we would line up from youngest to oldest and then go out to see what Santa brought. Once we were ready to go out there, she insisted that we line up! ha ha. Oh what a cute kid.
Stocking loot!
We had so much fun playing with stocking stuff and opening presents. We had a yummy breakfast of breakfast casserole and cinnamon rolls. It was a really great Christmas morning. Elan was doing ok, although he had a slight fever. We ended up putting him down for a nap halfway through opening presents. It was seriously a dream come true to have 2 little kiddos in our family to be opening presents and sharing the fun with. It was great!
Playing with all the awesome new stuff!
Around 11:00 we were finally done with everything (Yes, our kids didn't wake up until 8:00 that morning! It was freaking awesome!), so we got going on getting ready to go. We made it out the door around 2:00 I think. We headed to Idaho Falls. Poor Elan was getting worse, unfortunately. He was sort of sleeping in the car but he'd wake up crying like every 3-5 minutes. I felt so bad for him. By that evening at my parents' house his fever was much higher and we were worried. We missed the last Urgent Care place there closing by like 20 minutes, of course. So we debated for a while about whether it was worth an ER trip or not. He seemed ok besides the fever, lack of eating, and grouchiness, like, he wasn't dying or anything. So we held off. Thankfully he slept off his fever! (once we finally got him to sleep!!) He slept a solid 12 hours with just one wake up that night. Whew. We had been expecting a super long, exhausting night. Thanks for that Christmas present, Elan! To finish up the Elan story, he was a little better the next day, but I still took him in to urgent care. He had a decent cold, and the beginnings of an ear infection. We got a prescription to fill 2 days later if he wasn't back to his normal self. He didn't get back to normal so we did end up doing the antibiotics. This is such a long non-interesting story, sorry. But the point is..... Elan was pretty much a crab and non-sleeper the whole trip! It was not his best time, that's for sure! We had to share a room with him too so it was not ideal. But we all survived! What would Christmas be without a sick kid? We may have forgotten that, it's been a few years!
Anyway, back to the fun parts of Christmas!
We did love getting to visit Idaho Falls for a few days! When we got there on Christmas of course Mom, Jodee, Andrea and Alex were there, but Tara, Paul and Lauren had come up to stay for the weekend too. It was fun. We had the traditional little Christmas Eve program on Christmas night, which included a super-duper-awesome flash mob dance we all did for mom. I'm still really sad that *ahem* someone forgot to hit record on their camera when we started. Ashlyn had even learned some of the dance. :) Oh well. I hope Mom enjoyed it! ha ha! Seriously my siblings are the best with Ashlyn. She adores them. Maybe it's because they do things like sit in a tent and read to her?
And color with her... Anyways, I really appreciated that she got so much attention from everyone, since besides Lauren who is a couple years younger than her, there weren't other kids to play with, and it was so stinking cold we were stuck inside the whole time!
Tara and I took a drive out to visit Dad's grave. Sigh. I'm sure seeing his name on this will always have that sting.
One of the rare moments Elan was cool chilling. He looks like a big dude here.
Cousins! So cute. I think this little moment lasted like 3 minutes, but still.
And then other cousins! It will be so fun to see them play together in a few years.
My happy girl
Mom and Jodee (mostly Jodee) were nice enough to watch our kids on Monday so we could go up to Kelly Canyon for the day! It was really fun. I can carve down blue square runs now! *holla!* Anyway, we each took our turns getting super cold and needing to take a break (I think the high was like 11 degrees?) but we had a good time.
Boys getting some work done
It wouldn't be Sunday afternoon at home without grown people laying asleep all over everything
Elan was SUPER grumpy the last day we were there, of course when no one else was available to help out and Collin was out fixing up the car. I needed to fold a bunch of laundry so I could pack our stuff up. Mom pulled out this cool giant keyboard. It kept him amused for a little bit! I just like taking pictures of my kids playing with pianos.
The present Ashlyn gave me for Christmas was an adult coloring book! I tried to do some coloring during some of our hours in the car. I did manage to get one picture done!
We had been planning to stay in IF long enough to spend a day with Cory and Hayley, who were coming to visit from Rochester. BUT, their flight got straight-up cancelled! They were able to get a flight 4 days later. We had to go down to UT during that time as well to see Collin's brother Jim and their family who were up from Florida too, so we had to make the tough decision to just go to UT a little earlier and then miss seeing Cory and his family. It was a bummer, but we were really getting tired by then, mostly because of Elan and his being less than thrilled about life, both day and night.
Our trip from IF to Saratoga Springs was awful! Bad timing of potty breaks (and a lot of them!) led to Elan not sleeping more than 30 minutes. (4 hour drive!) Elan had diarrhea from the antibiotics he had just started, and then he barfed all over himself after he choked on a yogurt bite in his car seat. I ended up being pretty covered in barf as well by the time I got him changed. The car was packed and there was not a lot of extra room to clean up and change a barfy kid. My clothes were packed in the cargo up on top of the car, so I got to stay barfy for the rest of the way. It was just long and stressful. We were feeling that we'd already been gone for 5 days and still had more travel to come!
We did have a good time visiting down at Collin's parents' though! It was a little crazy when we first got there, but after we got settled it was really great to get to hang out and chat with everyone. I wish we got to see Jim and Deb and their family more!
Collin's mom got him this hat. It sings some sort of hick rendition of Deck the Halls--I think it's a Duck Dynasty type thing? She thinks it is absolutely hilarious. That made it really hilarious!
Elan hanging out with Uncle Tyler
Kiersten and Ashlyn
We finally made it back home around 6:30 on New Years Eve. We skipped out on the New Years Eve parties we'd been invited to and just put the kids to bed! We were definitely exhausted. We didn't even stay up until midnight! We are so cool. Anyway, it was super nice to be home and to have separate rooms and beds for us each to sleep in and a baby-proofed house that I wasn't afraid Elan was going to die at any moment in. We did love our visits with family though!
Ashlyn and I did a little shopping on New Years day. It is weird and random when she gets really persistent that I take her picture while she's doing something. This hat?? Ok, whatever. Target had such super good clearance on New Years, by the way!
Our Christmas card door! I guess the more you move, the more Christmas cards become really fun! We loved getting these from our friends and family this year. One of my favorite Christmas traditions!
Oh my goodness gracious this boy. He is absolutely to die for!!!
We ventured to the good old Magic Valley Mall on the 2nd to pick out our family Christmas present (C and I didn't really get stuff for each other this year so we could get this instead)-- a new dryer! Woot! Not in the $$ to get a new set so we started with the dryer. Hopefully washer will come in the next few months. Anyways, it is amaze-balls. Totally worth it. We had the dryer my parents were using back when I was in high school! It lasted... but was about dying. Now I can do so much laundry in like a quarter of the time! Awesome. Anyway, Ashlyn took about 15 minutes deciding which of the little quarter rides in the mall she would do. I think she was picturing the ride to be a lot more epic than it actually was! ha ha ha! But of course, it was still cool.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! If you actually read all this you are a true friend. ;)
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