10 years ago today . . .

Was a day that changed my life forever. I was reading this journal entry from a few weeks after May 25, 2000 to Collin last night and I didn't expect it but I ended up getting pretty emotional. Those of you friends and family who were there for all this know, it was a big deal. I still deal with complications from it all today, and I know I will for the rest of my life.

I think I will just put in the journal entry I wrote, it's where you can get the best picture:

June 15, 2000
I'm still in the hospital. The doctor says I'll be here at least 10 more days. I've been here a month! Holy cow. What happened is, I was here for 5 days in the peds because of colitis. Then, on Thursday, I finally got to come home. I was home at 8:00am, then at 5:00 pm I squatted down to straighten the mat at the bottom of the stairs, and my leg started to go all numb, and I couldn't breathe as good and I started to not be able to feel my foot (it was my left leg). So, it kept getting worse and my foot was starting to turn purple. But Mom was busy showing some people the house so she couldn't hep me. But oh my heck it hurt so bad, and I was getting really scared that I would lose my leg or something. I mean I was screaming almost, in pain. Tara kept coming into my room and telling me Mom was still talking to the people, so I finally said she should call 911 if Mom was busy. She went to Mom one more time and finally Mom came down. And then called 911 so they came and got me in an ambulance and took me to the E.R. and found out I had a blood clot from my belly-button clear to my ankle on that leg! So then they did all this stuff to melt the clot and suck it out but after that my leg was still so swollen they did a fasciotomy and cut open both sides of my calf! Gross! so I was in ICU for a week and a half, then in ISC until 2 days ago, and I'm finally just on the 3rd floor. Last Friday they did a skin graft on my calf and sewed it up. They took the skin from my thigh. That's what hurts the most right now. So my whole leg can't really be moved. They got me up to sit in a chair today and that killed so bad! And yesterday they gave me my first dressing change, under anesthesia. They're doing that again tomorrow. The dr. says the graft isn't taking as fast as he'd like and what totally sucks is that it's because of the medicine I'm on for colitis. So, both these things need opposite medicines and can't really be treated at the same time. Oh well. My goal the whole time I've been here is to be out and well enough to be in the parade by the 4th of July. I already missed music camp and I'm missing our ward YM/YW trip to Lagoon. But the 4th of July is my goal. I should for sure be out by then.
Anyways, this experience has made me GRATEFUL! Or more like thinking of how grateful I will be when I'm not on bedrest and finally, when I can WALK! Oh that will be sweet! I am already glad, though, that I even have my leg! I could have lost it that night or in the following days. I also could have died if any of the clot had broken loose and gone into my lungs or heart. Or if my central line had gotten infected or anything. I'm so lucky. I could write 10 more pages about what happened and all my hospital experiences, but I don't really want to write any more.


So, thankfully I have never lost that grateful feeling I had, even while I was still in the hospital. It was 2 months later before I was able to walk again, and since then I have had 2 more surgeries on my leg, and I have always had to ace wrap or wear a support sock on it.

I think the reason I got so emotional reading this is that I am able to look at my life now and feel the utmost gratitude to Heavenly Father for giving me another chance. Between the blood clot and colitis I had, I wasn't leading much of a life. Now, I can live "normally" if there is such a thing. I have a wonderful husband, job, and I can run, dance, and do anything I want with both my legs. What a blessing. I am so grateful I had that experience, though it is not just an isolated experience, it continues to affect my life. It brought our family closer together than we had ever been, there are a lot of things that happened that I don't want to share on the internet but they were very special. It also helped me to be so appreciative of my friends, and of our ward. I had more treats, presents, visits, everything during that 5 weeks in the hospital than anyone needs, but it just goes to show that sometimes something like this has to happen to bring you closer to others, and to help you realize how much others care.

To celebrate today, I am heading out to run a 5K! The whole way I will be thinking of all my blessings, like I probably will all day anyway.

If you'd like to help out in some way, I would love to get some donations for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation--to help others who are going through what I've been through, or worse. You can go here to get to my page and donate. I'm not doing the walk but I still want to help raise some money.

I love you all! Especially my family. You guys are beyond the best. And everyone else, friends and others who helped our family during that time, thank you again. I hope if you need me I can be there for you in your time of need.

Happy May 25th!