Nothing to do but pray

When Lara got in touch with me on Monday, we found out it wouldn't be as simple as she had been hoping. The good news was that the caseworker hadn't completely rejected her crazy suggestion. But the not-as-great news was that she was going to have the expectant couple choose between our two families. It was really actually good that she wasn't trying to force them into any decision. But they already had their minds set on Lara so I definitely knew the odds were against us. Again, nothing we could do but continue to pray and have faith that the best would work out.

The couple had already had a trip planned to meet Lara about 10 days after all this. Lara was trying in earnest to convince the caseworker to just have them come straight to Twin. Lara didn't want them to have to choose--she knew they should just come to us. But it was tricky navigating all this. In the end, the plan was that they would fly in to Boise and spend Sunday with Lara's family, then Monday morning we would go pick them up and bring them over to spend the day with us, and they would fly out of Twin Falls. Then the caseworker would meet with them and advise them and they'd make a decision. Yikes!

Lara and I talked and texted a lot over the next week! She really didn't know anything more about the couple. Off-reservation adoptions are pretty rare. As the caseworker flat out put it, she doesn't like placing babies off the reservation. And it's completely understandable. There is some crazy history with white people adopting Indian babies. But since this couple had been set on adoption off-res and out of state pretty much from the beginning of the pregnancy, she was completely supportive of it. Lara had only talked to the couple once on the phone, and had never seen any pictures of them or anything. They had only seen a couple of pictures of her. So there seemed to be a flicker of hope that they might be open to placing with another couple, since she hadn't like, fostered a really close relationship with them or anything. 

Of course the Sunday they were planning to come was the weekend we had a big birthday party over in IF planned for my dad. So before we left on that trip, I spent 2 days scouring the house, cleaning everything, organizing, even deep cleaning the cars! 

We went to IF and had a fabulous time with our family. I got to snuggle with my little 3-month old niece and also very brand new one week old nephew. We headed back to Jerome late Saturday night and were up late getting Ashlyn to bed, unpacking, me practicing the organ at the last second (as usual), etc. So we were exhausted. I was also SO nervous all weekend. My nerves just kept building and building. Anxious and nervous, I guess. I couldn't help but keep thinking that every little thing we did or said or had in our house would be the thing to turn them off to us. Silly, I know, but really I was thinking things like, "I better have all these papers put away or they might think we're too unorganized" and "if I don't dust the piano right before they come they might notice." That's what nerves will do to you!

Sunday morning as far as we knew the plan was still the same. I planned to finish unpacking and cleaning up the house Sunday evening and go to the grocery store for lunch stuff first thing Monday morning. During Sacrament meeting, as I was sitting on the stand waiting for the sacrament to be finished, I happened to check my phone. I really never check it during church unless I'm using it for scriptures. But I did for some reason--and I had like 4 missed calls from Lara and a bunch of texts from her saying "CALL ME ASAP!! I'm on my way to the airport and they are going to come straight to you today!" 

I was going crazy! Those 3 minutes I had to wait to be able to step out and call her back felt like INFINITY.